Healing Takes Time !

Healing
Healing takes time
And our heart continues to bleed
Deep red rivers through our vines
It does take time
Weeks, months and years
Tears still fall and fall
Human heart is fragile
More brittle than glass
When it’s hurt and when it cries
Centuries of time shivers in pain
What do you think of human heart ?
Iron, stone, diamond or gold ?
Do you think it’s icy cold ?
It’s an active volcano
Erupting with pain and emotions untold


Human heart the most precious thing
So precious that even God wants it
And deeply desires 
It’s the home where God wants to dwell
Yet  our hearts so miserable and broken
Every corner every deep
Filled wth chaos, cries and shrieks
Brutally killed, withered and lifeless
So deeply wounded, so badly butchered
There is hardly any hope
There is hardly any life left in our poor little heart
Yeah healing takes time
Perhaps decades, perhaps centuries
Perhaps lifetime, perhaps eternity.


Human heart the most precious thing
You ever get to  possess
Never play with it ,never put it on fire
Never test it, never experiment it
Never disrespect, never mistreat it
Never throw away nor kick it
Never hurt, never smother, never squeeze or wring it
Never break it’s bones, never pluck its wings ruthlessly


It’s not a toy , not a thing to experiment
It’s the most precious thing designed by God
He looks our naked heart
And He hears our every cry
He sees our heart
He sees every tear drop falling from it
He collects those tears
He holds our heart in His palm
He cries when a human heart dies
He cries when our heart  cries 
He is the one who touches and  heals it.

A Song Of A Leaf 🍁


Kind is that river
That hugs the poor creature
This dead, dried leaf
Lost, fallen, forsaken
Homeless and clueless
Only to be trampled down 
And chased away
Like a worthless waste
Or to be played by the naughty wind
🍁
Sweet is that stream
That gives abode to this homeless
Thanks to it
Now it has found
Life in death
Beginning in its end
A home apart from its home
A soothing, tender, gentle
Arms, bed and lap
That hugs and heals
Dances and thrills
Full of life and jive
Pregnant with dreams and hope
🍁
This leaf is alive again
And dreaming sweet dreams
Sleeping with comfort and smile
Dreaming with the stars
Shining with the sun
And playing with the ripples
Listening to the song of the day
And sweet lullaby of the night
Visiting new earths, new lives
As the river flows across
Many new worlds and places
Through dales and caves
🍁

Glorry Shubhashree

My Vulnerability and Brokenness is My Divine Gift !


Somewhere in the vicinity of vulnerability and in the shed of brokenness I find my true self. In the aching of my tiny heart I feel the pain of life with such depth and sensitivity that the tears which fall ,they also hug my soul. Peace is not the absence of pain but the ability to embrace the warmth of our tears as our sweet comfort and faithful comrade ! Stability is the ability to embrace all the uncertainty, pain, hurts, fears and triggers with a most gentle touch and even in the exposure of all the gloom, you bloom amidst them with all the sweet fragrance and beautiful smile !


When I was a kid and when I was quite junior, my vulnerability always scared me, always made me cry and it always felt like a curse. I could never know how to ever live with such a sensitive and brittle soul . I couldn’t know how to carry myself and walk in this tough world. I always cried feeling so cursed because of my hypersensitive soul and heart. I still cry because of this often. I still suffer because of this. I feel deeply and truly each pain, each little joy, each little hurt, each little miracle, each little sadness, every detail which life throws on me in my each step. I feel everything with my heart and soul, I feel everything with my closed eyes . And when I cry I cry with all my pain, sadness, helplessness and miserable feeling. When I smile I smile from my heart and a pure spirit.

Well, it will be bad to complain about things, life and all the sad things. It’s true that the amount of adversities and tragedies I went through are massive and heavy, but I can’t undo them by complaining and crying. But I can embrace them all as most precious and costly gems and I can carry them gracefully as my ornaments . I can use them as unique colours which life gifted me to be a master artist. I am still figuring out how I can string all these scattered  gems from the deep cave sorrow, pain and adversities of life. By running away from my hurt, wounds and tears I can’t truly stand on my ground and can’t truly be the real me.


  I am learning to embrace my vulnerability and brokenness as my unique gift gifted by the divine. Because it allows me to feel deeply with each nerve of my heart  as a perpetual part of me and it keeps me from being hard and tough, it keeps me forever grounded to my true roots, the roots of emotions and feelings. Because this is what I am, a soul which lives, breathes and feels so deeply, a soul which cries most tender tears, a heart that forever beats with the sweetest and deepest sensitivity. And this is all I am . I can’t live without feeling. I can’t ignore the the depth and height of emotions and all the range of our struggles. I see from my heart, I sense from my heart and I am sensitive soul who lives in her heart.

I Acknowledge I Need Healing !

For a long time I have been hurt . For really long I am completely broken and crushed. For so long I have been putting all my strength and energy and so much draining myself but all I I have been receiving is more pain, more hurts, more frustrations, more disappointments, more tests of my patience. The letters, poems and songs I have written out of my pain are endless in number but I keep those all to myself and don’t share. For long I have even stopped writing and I am not even in touch with my own self ,all I feel is only pain , emptiness, drained and exhaustion. I feel speechless and unable to utter a word.

But this great truth and need I have been ignoring that I need healing , I need to live now for myself and give myself that time, space, care and everything which will allow me to hug my own heart and soul ,which will allow me to let my bleeding heart breathe . I need to express myself and accept my true condition without trying to ignore it . I must accept I need healing, I need love and I am really weak, tired and vulnerable. I am so broken I can’t help myself not crying. I can’t help myself not feeling so empty and lonely.

I can’t hide my pain and hurts. I can’t forget all that I went through and all that fell upon me. Sometimes I am lifeless and numb like a statue, sometimes I am so sensitive, vulnerable and soft that I simply cry and cry silently lying on my bed and silently tremble with unbearable pain, silently I hug myself and put myself to sleep.

Letters To My Father !

When I was clueless and lost for years, I was writing letters to God. When I was broken, shattered and wounded beyond any possibility of getting healed, I was falling at His feet and shedding all my tears tearing all my heart apart before Him. When nothing was making any sense and I was trapped in the chain of chaos and melancholy and wilderness was the only land I could see all around me, I was running to God and laying my grief stricken heart at His feet.
I was pouring my heart at His feet and my pen continued to run on the blank papers day and night filling diaries after diaries. And now when I look back I realise how beautiful, how powerful and how meaningful it was to write letters to God.

Once again I am lost, I am broken, I am chained in chaos, hurt, grief and screaming out in pain. I long for that connection with my Father God, I long for that beautiful friendship and relationship with Him. So once again I want to rebuild all that which somehow has got lost or died down in the wicked hands of time. I want to restore that sweet love which has been the source of my life and existence.


So once again I want to write letters to God and experience His presence through my writing, between my words. Cause He only hears my heart beat and He only holds my heart ! He only sees my tears and He only collects them in His bowl.

Rhythm Of My Heart !

Most Holy, dearest, sweetest Father God in Heaven !
I owe You my heart, life, love and every beat of my heart, every thought of my mind ! I owe You my each breath ! I owe You my madness, passion and deep desire ! I am connected to You such way that I can never think even a beat without You in it . I can not think about this life without You. I am always thirsty for Your presence and longing for Your fire to ignite me, consume me. It’s never enough . I want You always.

Align the rhythm of my heart with Yours
Create a new symphony in each fibre of my being to chase after You like the thirsty deer running for the brook  and panting for the fresh water in the stream.
I want to chase after Your heart  with all my madness without any limit. I want to be completely soaked in Your presence and bathe in Your radiance that electrifies me with the unparalleled joy.

I am not perfect. I make lots of mistakes. I fall short in many things often . My vulnerability, weakness, fears, inability, insecurity are all ever before You dearest Daddy ! I come to You just as I am with all my flaws, shortcomings, brokenness, failures and lacking. Make me Yours forever. Make my heart Your dwelling place. Yes I give my this vulnerable, defenceless, shattered, broken, wounded,  bleeding heart of mine in Your tender , loving, most trustable hands. And I make You the King, owner, healer, author and restorer of my heart.

My soul is ever longing for You !
And I Love You with all my tears, sighs, silence and scream ! I love You with all the overwhelming peace, joy and contentment ! I Love You madly, dearest Daddy ! Each day I fall in love with You and Your love sustains my life !

I Love You endlessly !
I Love You deeply !
I Love You madly !

Chasing After God #Letter 1

Earth Is A Heaven Itself

Earth has everything to excite us ,it’s a heaven itself ..but we don’t realise that and we think heaven is something really different from this world and our heaven means only gold, diamonds, rivers of honey..and all such crazy, greedy expectations..though I don’t deny the richness of heaven .

Have you ever looked at this earth ,this world .. don’t you ever realize it’s heaven itself .! The friendship, the bonds ,the love we share with our family, relatives, friends ,pets ,.. isn’t it so divine ..! Are they not the wingless earth angels ! Do they not carry an essence of heaven !

The rich verdant fields ,the white clouds spread across the vast blue sky playing with the sun the hide and seek , the hills and mountains of mystery and treasures, the colourful rainbow embracing the sky, the ocean waves dancing with the rise and fall of the tides , the dawn and dusk echoing with the birds song ,and the sky playing the festival of colours ..!

Are they not the view of heaven ,are they not divine ..! What more beauty and miracle you expect heaven to be oh greedy man .If you are not happy with this earth and it’s majestic beauty doesn’t appeal you ..I don’t know what will !
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.( My own photography )

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©Glorry Shubhashree

On Inequality And Discrimination


Its a natural tendency and birthright of every person and any person to love, admire, respect and preserve his motherland, his ethnicity, his race, and to whatever particular group or identity he belongs. And it hurts, really hurts a lot, when he is mocked, insulted or looked down by others or treated lowly because of his identity and the ethnicity or group. That’s really painful and sad. That pain only he can know who goes through that.

In our society, in our country, and most probably in world since long such discriminations are prevalent, and people are divided in many groups and subgroups according to that, where some particular group thinks they are superior to others and those who are considered the lowest in that, they are treated badly and lowly everywhere, in every field, in everything. So when some particular groups think they are superior, so what about the others ? Are they not human beings ?

Whatever identity or group a person belong, why another group would look down on them or tease, mock or insult them ? Can they themselves tolerate that ? Can any one tolerate that ? Then why so easily people hurt, tease, insult, mock others for their very identity ? Have we ever considered it staying in their shoes who go through all this, who have to survive n fight for their own rights and identity ? So painful, so hurting it is !! Nobody has any right for that and why should a person tolerate that. Why some will rule like kings and why some will suffer like slaves and treated like animals or subhumans.

Also I have a question for everyone ? Does God give knowledge, wisdom, talents, ability only to a particular group of people and doesn’t give to others. Does He do discrimination in that ? I mean to say is it only a particular group or section of people are blessed with knowledge, wisdom, talents, skills and abilities ? And is it some group or section are always poor, backwards and fools with no talents, no skill, no abilities ? These are some thought provoking thoughts of mine which arise in me as a common sense. We know it very well that everyone is gifted differently with different talents and abilities, we can’t judge or reject someone’s ability as a generalization, insulting a complete group.

No one is inferior and no one is superior to anyone… So is our groups, and ethnicity, none is superior nor inferior, instead we are all unique whatever n however we are. We all are equally loved by God. We all have same, flesh, heart, bone and blood. Our skin color, height, figure, hair may differ but can we deny that beneath the skin we feel the same, think the same and we all go through this same life of joy and sorrow..! We are human and humanity is our first identity. We are to respect each other, help and cooperate each other. I don’t support too much pride and arrogance for our own group and hating others or to look down others.

Everyone has a self respect, everyone has a heart, every one has his dignity, every one has equal rights.

True education is not what degree, certificate or qualifications we have, in what school, college or university we went for study, what great job we do, how much books we have read or whatever places we have gone. A piece of paper doesn’t measure our true education. True education is how we treat another person, how we value and respect others, how we understand others.. True education is our manners, behaviors and thoughts. If we don’t know how to respect others, if we are full of arrogance and pride, if we are not kind and considerate towards others we are not educated in true sense..and all our years of learning is just in vain.

And another thing… When some people have more resource of something, they should share that with others who are deprived of that. When we find some people in extreme struggles or difficulties, and if we are blessed with everything, if we have power and capacity to help we should definitely help. If we are aware and know very well how some particular people are suffering for their basic rights and survival , and still if we just ignore and close our eyes to them its not true humanity. We are to support, help and nurture each other and to live in harmony. That’s how a beautiful society is made, and that’s how there lies unity in diversity, when or where no one is looked down, no one is neglected, no one is hurt, but all are respected and treated equally.

Just like a jungle full of diverse animals and plants enriches it, so does a diverse social groups in a nation enriches its society. So that inequality or diversity is to be celebrated in good way to enrich each other not to kill, cut or scratch each other as if we are animals or enemies of each other. We are all human, children of one God, God who rules in love, we all come under that one blanket of love, why do we pester each other to generate hatred and divide our society, our humanity for insignificant things.
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Finally.. nobody has any right to make anyone feel inferior or worthless only because of their particular identity. Whoever displays such inhuman, illiterate behavior to mock, tease or hurt anyone or keeps such thoughts shows his own lack of education and underdeveloped mentality. When we can’t bear, share or lessen someone’s agony, why to throw salt in their wounds by making them feel more miserable, helpless and bitter.. only to reduce their faith and hope in humanity and equality .

A person’s true power is in helping a weak, not in boasting in his own power and threatening the weak.

©Glorry Shubhashree 🌼

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Some original thoughts of mine. . I often ponder over this.. My intention is not to hurt or provoke anyone, but to make us think before we behave or speak anything ill towards any fellow human being which is derogatory to that person’s dignity and self respect.

True Love

True love doesn’t change with time, situation, place or people. It never fades away, never loses its charm, it’s passion, it’s devotion. It doesn’t get cold but renews daily. It never doubts, it always trusts, it always believes the soul which it loves.. because it doesn’t only see from eyes, doesn’t hear from only ears, but sees from heart, hears from soul deep down. It walks with faith… faith which nothing can shake..

It never harms nor tries to hurt or wound the soul it loves… But tries its best to keep that soul most safe, most secure, most happy. Nurtures it with utmost care, deepest love, understanding, most sincerity and truth. Creates the most suitable environment for it, so it can grow in every direction and blossom in its true beauty. It tries the best that nothing can ever harm or hurt the soul it loves.

It never leaves nor goes away from that very soul. It can never go away leaving that dearest soul alone, but stays with it in the deepest darkness, in worst storms, in lonely roads, in rough times. It doesn’t seek what it will get from that one, but it only keeps searching the needs of that one in this very moment… what’s most important and best for that one.

It doesn’t care for the hurt, wound, pain risks or difficulty which itself may go through in that process of caring that other soul. It stays most faithful to that soul, in everything, in every situation, in every place as long as it lives.

True love gives wings to the soul which it loves. Creates the platform for both to grow fully in their spiritual beauty, maturity and height as a unique person which God has created them really..!!!

It can’t see any other person in the place of that dearest one. Because its full attention, devotion and happiness always remains to that only one. Nothing and nobody can divert that attention or devotion, how much others may try..!!!!

We keep falling in love so many times, in so many ways, only with that soul as we keep discovering that soul more and more deeply with time…!! There may be thousands of beautiful souls around us… But the beauty of only that soul keeps holding our soul, heart, mind and attention.

-©Glorry Shubhashree

Love And Compassion

I got to realise that COMPASSION is LOVE in action, or expression of love. And Compassion is the very core nature of God. He is always full of compassion, the most compassionate God He is. So it’s also a nature and sign of a person who is closer or nearer to God. Because when we get closer to Him, we get transformed in His presence as we absorb His qualities, nature and reflections.

This compassion is such a unique, powerful and heart melting experience its hard to explain, only can be felt by those who have experienced it. Until we have not reached this state we are still very immature and we don’t know God really.

Because God is love Himself and His love ever flows from His heart and sustains us, sustains the whole world , and He always stares us with His eyes full of compassion. His heart melts in compassion when He sees His creation.

When we reach this matured stage and this compassion gets hold of our heart ,mind and spirit, we won’t be careless for other’s needs, we won’t judge others, we won’t keep any hurt, bitterness or grudge even if others have done or do the worst to us, we won’t think or speak ill of others at any cost.

We will forgive, we will love endlessly without limit, even when we are aware of others crooked, fragile nature and their failure to understand our love, sympathy and care. .!

But irrespective of their meanness and inability, irrespective of their no change, we love them still anyways and always have forgiveness for them..even if we are harmed and hurt.

Cause Love and Forgiveness goes hand in hand. .and we see this in compassion.

When we have compassion, we have the heart of God. We see like Him, think like Him, love like Him, forgive like Him, accept like Him..cause our love and compassion for others will be greater than their hatred, malice or meanness for us…and we will realise as God forgives us, loves us and accepts us ,we should also forgive and love like that. .and it happens naturally without effort or force. We will be able to see others and this world from very higher perspective than common, normal perspective, from God’s perspective.

Until we haven’t got that compassion, we can’t really forgive or love others the way we should, the way God really intends us to do.

© Glorry Shubhashree