Tag: Creativity

My Vulnerability and Brokenness is My Divine Gift !

Musings Of A DreamerLeave a comment

Somewhere in the vicinity of vulnerability and in the shed of brokenness I find my true self. In the aching of my tiny heart I feel the pain of life with such depth and sensitivity that the tears which fall ,they also hug my soul. Peace is not the absence of pain but the ability to embrace the warmth of our tears as our sweet comfort and faithful comrade ! Stability is the ability to embrace all the uncertainty, pain, hurts, fears and triggers with a most gentle touch and even in the exposure of all the gloom, you bloom amidst them with all the sweet fragrance and beautiful smile !


When I was a kid and when I was quite junior, my vulnerability always scared me, always made me cry and it always felt like a curse. I could never know how to ever live with such a sensitive and brittle soul . I couldn’t know how to carry myself and walk in this tough world. I always cried feeling so cursed because of my hypersensitive soul and heart. I still cry because of this often. I still suffer because of this. I feel deeply and truly each pain, each little joy, each little hurt, each little miracle, each little sadness, every detail which life throws on me in my each step. I feel everything with my heart and soul, I feel everything with my closed eyes . And when I cry I cry with all my pain, sadness, helplessness and miserable feeling. When I smile I smile from my heart and a pure spirit.

Well, it will be bad to complain about things, life and all the sad things. It’s true that the amount of adversities and tragedies I went through are massive and heavy, but I can’t undo them by complaining and crying. But I can embrace them all as most precious and costly gems and I can carry them gracefully as my ornaments . I can use them as unique colours which life gifted me to be a master artist. I am still figuring out how I can string all these scattered  gems from the deep cave sorrow, pain and adversities of life. By running away from my hurt, wounds and tears I can’t truly stand on my ground and can’t truly be the real me.


  I am learning to embrace my vulnerability and brokenness as my unique gift gifted by the divine. Because it allows me to feel deeply with each nerve of my heart  as a perpetual part of me and it keeps me from being hard and tough, it keeps me forever grounded to my true roots, the roots of emotions and feelings. Because this is what I am, a soul which lives, breathes and feels so deeply, a soul which cries most tender tears, a heart that forever beats with the sweetest and deepest sensitivity. And this is all I am . I can’t live without feeling. I can’t ignore the the depth and height of emotions and all the range of our struggles. I see from my heart, I sense from my heart and I am sensitive soul who lives in her heart.

Letters To My Father !

Musings Of A DreamerLeave a comment
When I was clueless and lost for years, I was writing letters to God. When I was broken, shattered and wounded beyond any possibility of getting healed, I was falling at His feet and shedding all my tears tearing all my heart apart before Him. When nothing was making any sense and I was trapped in the chain of chaos and melancholy and wilderness was the only land I could see all around me, I was running to God and laying my grief stricken heart at His feet.
I was pouring my heart at His feet and my pen continued to run on the blank papers day and night filling diaries after diaries. And now when I look back I realise how beautiful, how powerful and how meaningful it was to write letters to God.

Once again I am lost, I am broken, I am chained in chaos, hurt, grief and screaming out in pain. I long for that connection with my Father God, I long for that beautiful friendship and relationship with Him. So once again I want to rebuild all that which somehow has got lost or died down in the wicked hands of time. I want to restore that sweet love which has been the source of my life and existence.


So once again I want to write letters to God and experience His presence through my writing, between my words. Cause He only hears my heart beat and He only holds my heart ! He only sees my tears and He only collects them in His bowl.