When I was clueless and lost for years, I was writing letters to God. When I was broken, shattered and wounded beyond any possibility of getting healed, I was falling at His feet and shedding all my tears tearing all my heart apart before Him. When nothing was making any sense and I was trapped in the chain of chaos and melancholy and wilderness was the only land I could see all around me, I was running to God and laying my grief stricken heart at His feet. I was pouring my heart at His feet and my pen continued to run on the blank papers day and night filling diaries after diaries. And now when I look back I realise how beautiful, how powerful and how meaningful it was to write letters to God.
Once again I am lost, I am broken, I am chained in chaos, hurt, grief and screaming out in pain. I long for that connection with my Father God, I long for that beautiful friendship and relationship with Him. So once again I want to rebuild all that which somehow has got lost or died down in the wicked hands of time. I want to restore that sweet love which has been the source of my life and existence.
So once again I want to write letters to God and experience His presence through my writing, between my words. Cause He only hears my heart beat and He only holds my heart ! He only sees my tears and He only collects them in His bowl.
Most Holy, dearest, sweetest Father God in Heaven ! I owe You my heart, life, love and every beat of my heart, every thought of my mind ! I owe You my each breath ! I owe You my madness, passion and deep desire ! I am connected to You such way that I can never think even a beat without You in it . I can not think about this life without You. I am always thirsty for Your presence and longing for Your fire to ignite me, consume me. It’s never enough . I want You always.
Align the rhythm of my heart with Yours Create a new symphony in each fibre of my being to chase after You like the thirsty deer running for the brook and panting for the fresh water in the stream. I want to chase after Your heart with all my madness without any limit. I want to be completely soaked in Your presence and bathe in Your radiance that electrifies me with the unparalleled joy.
I am not perfect. I make lots of mistakes. I fall short in many things often . My vulnerability, weakness, fears, inability, insecurity are all ever before You dearest Daddy ! I come to You just as I am with all my flaws, shortcomings, brokenness, failures and lacking. Make me Yours forever. Make my heart Your dwelling place. Yes I give my this vulnerable, defenceless, shattered, broken, wounded, bleeding heart of mine in Your tender , loving, most trustable hands. And I make You the King, owner, healer, author and restorer of my heart.
My soul is ever longing for You ! And I Love You with all my tears, sighs, silence and scream ! I love You with all the overwhelming peace, joy and contentment ! I Love You madly, dearest Daddy ! Each day I fall in love with You and Your love sustains my life !
I Love You endlessly ! I Love You deeply ! I Love You madly !
A series of an open form of writing for my raw, desperate longing, cries, prayers, letters, conversations of my soul with God ! These are my personal, vulnerable feelings, emotions in all range of self contemplations and deep soul searching.
You can say it my digital diary where I will talk to God. And the main aim here will be to connect with Him with all the depth of my soul, heart, truth, thirst and honesty.
I have been extremely crazy for God and deeply connected to Him since childhood and all my life I have grown in that relationship with Him and have tasted the joy of His presence and closeness.
I have had an awesome friendship and relationship with God. But for long time now I have got diverted from it and have got lost, got trapped in pain, sorrow, darkness and all the complications of life..like the prodigal daughter, I chased after all other things so much for so long that my personal time with God got neglected and my relationship with Him too got affected badly.
So I repent for it and want to chase after God all again and restore my craziness for Him again..with more fire !
Dear Almighty Father My Loving Creator I write this song for You To praise Your love To honour You Your love burns in my heart Like a mighty flame Your love shines in my eyes Like the aura of the glowing moon.
Your love continues to glow Continues to grow Like a moon in the night sky No matter what my world is in A chaos , an abyss Or an endless race Your love is my strength My resting place My place of hiding My joy never ending.
Dear Almighty Father Baptize me in Your river Again and again Again and again Cause it’s never enough Your endless love It drives me crazy It overwhelms my heart It makes me faint I am forever thirsty for Your love.
Your love, is the purest flame The finest holy fire That sparks my heart And illuminates my mind And sets my spirit ablaze Your love, is the purest flame That cleanses my life And sanctifies my thoughts Purges me through and through Until I become a daughter true Until my heart and mind Are pleasing to You Until my every intention Is submitted to You And my everything is surrendered to You.
Dear Heavenly Father . I come to You with a hungry heart and thirsty soul for Your presence, for Your intimacy ,for Your living water ,for Your manna . Nothing can satisfy the longing and cry of my inmost being except You . I am hungry for Your word ,hungry for Your wisdom . Dear Father it is not diamond, gold, silver or rubies that I seek ,but the far more precious Words of Yours that is my true longing, that is the treasure I seek . Your word is sweeter than honey, tastier than the most delicious feast of meat , more pleasant than the fragrance of myrrh.
God, Your word is all satisfying, healing to my bones ,good to my health . God ,I pray to You on behalf of my fellow brothers and sisters in this world ,I pray for each and every one whose heart and soul has turned far from You ,is lost in the this illusions of the world ,is being carried away in worthless things .I pray for all the mankind on earth that You touch them ,turn them to You . Please put that fire ,that hunger in them too for You, for their Creator . Create in them a new heart ,a new soul which longs for You, searches for You wildly ,and comes running to You ,to Your living stream ,just as the thirsty deer comes running to the streams of water and drinks from it with satisfaction and delight .
Father I pray on behalf of everyone on this earth to have that desire for You, for Your Word, Your love and presence ,to know You more ,to connect with You more deeply . Please draw them towards You . Your word is sweeter, deeper, pleasant and richer than any best thing of this world . But without that passion and hunger ,a heart that is stubborn, stiff and self-sufficient, Your precious words, Your provisions stay neglected before them because of their inability to receive . For deeper the hunger, the greater a person’s heart is ready to receive Your treasures and spiritual wealth .
Many years ago I had read some valuable article with deep insight.. where it was written about the importance of being broken in our Father God’s hand, if we want to be fruitful for God and be used by Him greatly and powerfully we must let Him break us. Cause until we are not broken, until we are not dead to ourselves we can’t be much fruitful He can’t use us that powerful way when we harden ourselves and don’t want to be broken. But it’s a necessary process which we actually want to skip completely or get rid of. Jesus fed more than 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 pieces of fish..and yet 12 baskets got left over. We know this incident very well since childhood. But we miss one important point here, the process how He does it. When those fish and bread were given to Him, He blesses them, uplifts and surrender them to Father God, then He breaks them and starts giving those blessed, broken pieces of fish and bread.. and we know the story what happens next, more than 5000 people ate full and 12 baskets left over food remained. That’s what He does with us. When we give ourselves to Him, He blesses us and let us to be broken, and in that brokenness, in that process He does most important works within us, He uses us mightily for His purpose
We often fail to understand the purpose of pain, pause, waiting, the presence of suffering and hardships. We just want everything in our life to go smooth and well, all merry, all happy. When the real tests come as giants in our way and block our way, we stumble there. Cause we are so obsessed with only blessings, success, happiness, prosperity and staying ahead or having name, fame or stay in equal with all around. But we fail to understand that just like our hand prints are unique and we are all different from each other, so does our role, purpose for our life and God’s plan, timetable is different and unique for each of us. It’s a foolishness to compare ourselves with others. We all have unique challenges, tasks and difficulties which are specific and unique to each of us. In the pause, in the waiting, in the wilderness God breaks us, moulds us, prepares us, equips us, trains us, refines us, improves us, corrects us, improves us, transforms us into that shape, image and character which He has designed and planned for us, in the image, in the likeness of Jesus. In the wilderness, in the pause we start to understand the real meaning and depth of His each words which we were just overlooking previously. Yes it is then His living words start speaking life to us.
Yes it is in the fire of affliction He purifies us. In our brokenness we develop a humility and gentleness, a character that is too precious in His eyes. When we are at the bottom of life we learn to depend on Him and learn what is total and complete surrender. When all our roads are blocked and all hope is gone, we learn to trust Him. In our lowest we learn to depend on His strength. Yes He allows us sometimes to experience the lowest of time, He empties us completely, so that we can trust only Him and open our heart, our doors for Him alone and we can give ourselves to Him, entrust our life completely in His hand only. When we think that nobody cares, nobody thinks about us, nobody loves us, nobody sees us. When we think that we are completely left alone and we even wonder about His existence, we question if even God cares about us, does He look us, does He understand.. Does He hear our prayer, our cry? Does He see our pain? Forget about human beings, does even God understand us..? In our darkest times we all might go through such situations, such questions, such loneliness, such hopelessness..! And what we do at such times are really which matter a lot which defines us what we are made of, what our true heart is.
Most times people fail there at this point and lose their track. And this is the crucial time which the Heaven, angels and God witness what really we are! Job lost everything yet He didn’t reject God, he still put his love and trust in God, he remained loyal even in the most painful time. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold as a slave to foreigners and lived so many years as a slave, again he got accused with serious false witness and was prisoned for so many years , got punished for crimes not done. Moses lived 40 years in the desert . Abraham being called the friend of God, by God Himself, he waited so many years to see His promised child.
☁️⛅The Sun-Hugged Clouds . . Do you ever wonder my dear How does Heaven look and feel like! I witness a piece of Heaven When the firmament I gaze upon And behold the miracle often.
The silky milky floral clouds Floating in the open azure sky With a pageant of esthetic plethora Shining bright, so white Like wedding gown of a bride. . Smiling with the radiance of Almighty. . When they cradle the Sun, ever blazing And its sea of rays, ever beaming Scatter, scan and flash through them Play, move and dance with them Like a waltz of celestial beings.
I got to realise that COMPASSION is LOVE in action, or expression of love. And Compassion is the very core nature of God. He is always full of compassion, the most compassionate God He is. So it’s also a nature and sign of a person who is closer or nearer to God. Because when we get closer to Him, we get transformed in His presence as we absorb His qualities, nature and reflections.
This compassion is such a unique, powerful and heart melting experience its hard to explain, only can be felt by those who have experienced it. Until we have not reached this state we are still very immature and we don’t know God really.
Because God is love Himself and His love ever flows from His heart and sustains us, sustains the whole world , and He always stares us with His eyes full of compassion. His heart melts in compassion when He sees His creation.
When we reach this matured stage and this compassion gets hold of our heart ,mind and spirit, we won’t be careless for other’s needs, we won’t judge others, we won’t keep any hurt, bitterness or grudge even if others have done or do the worst to us, we won’t think or speak ill of others at any cost.
We will forgive, we will love endlessly without limit, even when we are aware of others crooked, fragile nature and their failure to understand our love, sympathy and care. .!
But irrespective of their meanness and inability, irrespective of their no change, we love them still anyways and always have forgiveness for them..even if we are harmed and hurt.
Cause Love and Forgiveness goes hand in hand. .and we see this in compassion.
When we have compassion, we have the heart of God. We see like Him, think like Him, love like Him, forgive like Him, accept like Him..cause our love and compassion for others will be greater than their hatred, malice or meanness for us…and we will realise as God forgives us, loves us and accepts us ,we should also forgive and love like that. .and it happens naturally without effort or force. We will be able to see others and this world from very higher perspective than common, normal perspective, from God’s perspective.
Until we haven’t got that compassion, we can’t really forgive or love others the way we should, the way God really intends us to do.
God is love. So love itself is unconditional and selfless. It’s the peace and it’s the purity, the key of godliness. It’s always benevolent in all its forms. Kind and gentle in all its moves . It spreads joy and healing. It carries the touch of heaven wherever it goes, as it’s the perennial river of soothing compassion, healing, forgiveness and acceptance. It’s all encompassing. Its something even the heaven and earth together or even the entire universe can’t ever define it or contain it completely. It encompasses and transcends even the eternity.
We always know and experience it partially within our limits and capacity in our entire life. Our capacity to love others depends on how much we know and love God, how much we are intimate with God. The more we know Him, the more we are familiar to love. Cause God is love.
The unified goal and purpose of all the trials of our life is to bring us closer to love, to make us more familiar to love, to increase our capacity to love others, to such great level which is beyond human capacity, which is not possible by our own in normal condition, without these trials. So their motto is always to burn our impurities and mold us into an embodiment of love, ultimately to shape us in the image of God. Cause God is love and we are His children, made in His image, meant to be like Him, meant to love others unconditionally, to serve selflessly.
And those who love more, serve better. Cause service is the prime duty of a human being as a human towards mankind, towards every fellow human and every creature. Only a life of service is a life worthwhile. And that service is incomplete without genuine love.
If we know God, we will know love, and we will know to serve.
Musings Of A Dreamer 